Mati rasa

05.01a 13/01

Dear Darya

Mati rasa means “numb” in English, I don’t know in Russian, stupid me right?

Anyway, why I feel this? I feel jealous not only every weekend, but every second. I know this is bad because I love you, and still loving you, furthermore I can’t stop this feeling, every minutes, every hours, every day, every week, ever month, and one year passed I still can’t stop this feeling, still can’t forget about you, the most important is I can’t stop loving you.

I know your feeling is stopped already about me, you’re not Adele who can’t forget me, who think that our story isn’t over, you’re Darya, if you feel hurt and bad, you stop loving me, you can easily forget me, and your love story with me… is over.

Are you happy with the guy whom you love now? I guess so, I’m glad that you got a guy who can make you happy all the time, who can get anything that I can’t give you when we were together.

Don’t think about me, I’m a homeless dog now, who lost in love and I don’t have any spirit any more.

You’re my last love, Dasha, and also last people who can make me happy, I know you can’t make me or us happy anymore, because I’m not your destiny, your current guy is your destiny, I never pray anything bad for you, what I want is, I want you to be happy.

Just I want you to know, as usual…


I love you Darya Pavlovna Ponomareva my ex English teacher, you are always in my heart.

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