Anxiety, jealous, hope, love

9.34a 02/12

Dear Darya

For more than one year, I feel that I’m not a normal human anymore, I can’t trust people, I can’t work better, even I can’t eat better, or perhaps, in a normal way.

I feel anxiety because I am worried all the time, everything is pointed at you, lost of spirit, motivation, etc. Turned that I became an introvert person, I started to make less communication with anybody, not having friends.

I can’t work better also, my brain didn’t want to work normally. For example, in some cases, I know what’s the problem, I know what’s the solution to solve that problem, and I also able to solve that by my own hand. I guarantee sure, that I can do that. But in fact, I can’t….. or the precise word is I won’t do that.

It’s funny, because long time ago, I always laugh to people who has broken heart, how stupid they are, how silly they are. But now after I felt that, I know how hard is it, even one year passed by, I still miss you, Darya.

I won’t tell anything about jealous, I’m sure I should accept that maybe you slept with another guy there, got a new boyfriend, or maybe got pregnant already, and live happy there, wherever you are, what I can do just nothing for now.

And yes, I still and always love you, Darya,

Just please forgive me.

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