Last time we talk, I remembered that you want me to get close and love my parents, and I answered that I can’t, maybe you won’t ask why, but I will write it here anyway, even thou I was wondering are you even read this blog or not.
It started when we drop you off to the airport in Jakarta, when you’re going to Vietnam, I was thinking and trust that I will be stick with you and leaving my parents, they don’t mind if I leave, but at least what I can say was “try to take care yourself”.
And strange me, I love you more than them, as a guy I have two choices, you or parents, and I chose you, several days after you went away, I started to move to Bandung, because I don’t want to stay with them, I need to do something for myself, getting ready for move for good, I even told them just rent that house to anybody so you can get money, but they’re stubborn enough and chose to let house empty, okay, I won’t care, it was only suggestion thou.
Once, I tried to “made a fire”, I forgot what was it exactly , but we argued, do you know when? It was last day before I’m going to you, I even told them that I won’t contact them at all.
This is why in Vietnam I never contact parents, just reject them, that’s why they contact you to ask me, because I close my connection to them.
Even when I was deported back, I didn’t contact them, just went to their house and ask for key, they never ask me what was wrong, how was it, etc, etc.
Furthermore, after we lost contact each other, I still don’t contact them, what I know was you still have contact with them, they like you so much, remember that I should introduce you to my parents and family, Yes, I did it, and they like you so much, it’s kinda approval or green light for our marriage or any serious relationship.
And now, when I am going to Jakarta for business purpose, I’d rather stay at hostel alone than stay with them in Depok, they still asked me frequently but I didn’t answer their phones or chats, I met them very seldom, so, she knew all about you, but not me, last time I accidentally know about you because I should go to Depok for take some documents of mine, that’s all.
And now, I’m still in freezing relationship with them, the only one who can restore that, is you, Dasha. not me.