It should be a conversation

This is my answer for what you wrote on VKontakte

Just remember, my answers is not from my brain, it’s from my heart (c)

Of course I don’t block people, I told you, because i remember what I felt when you blocked me when I “annoyed” you while you were with Fris or Sumanta
And I don’t humiliate people like that
Or not yet

I never block you either, once I blocked your Sri Lankan WhatsApp’s number, that’s all, I also don’t humiliate people like that, and will not.. How about you?

I told you many times I don’t have any “new boyfriend”, tired of that question

Okay then..

I don’t talk to you because I don’t see any point in that now
I don’t believe you, and I remember too much bad stuff, and I’m actually very angry that I made my life very miserable because you wanted it to be miserable

I never made your life miserable, NEVER, just, don’t be angry please. I’m sorry

Eat properly
Why not
If you can’t think about anything else, then it’s exactly what I felt all these years
Now you’ll maybe understand why I hate all the situation

Yes, I understand, What I want is… let’s fix it, yes, you can remember bad stuff about me, about my behaviour, about everything, just please, let’s stick together again, I need you,

I can’t eat properly at all, what I can say is you should eat properly, because you are far away, and I don’t want you to  be sick there.

Yes, I remember you and I love you, I told you about it many times

I remember you and I love you always

But I also told you, that is what we have for now. I prefer the silent love. Because I’m done with bad stuff. Plus, I don’t believe that Charlotte existed. Plus, for me it’s very fishy that you contacted me exactly the day when I told your mom about the US, 3 minutes later, not before or after, like didn’t want me to move

Do you think silent love will solve anything?

It’s okay if you don’t believe it, you can think that Charlotte never existed, if it’s make you happy, do and believe what makes you happy.

It’s not fishy at all. I will explain,

First of all, I never want you not to move at all, if so, I will tell or forbid you even before you go to Thailand, or back to Russia.

You can go anywhere you want as long as we’re in a good and healthy relationship

First, when I arrived in Indonesia, just back from Vietnam, I don’t have any job that day, I can’t go back to Vietnam because I don’t have any money, and I can’t ask parents due to dad’s condition(I feel pity), at that time you moved to Thailand, leaving my suitcase, but I won’t angry because of that, because I was thinking about YOU more than suitcase.

I had an idea to bring you back to Indonesia, just stay in parent’s house in Depok until I got job and rent our own house/flat, but I remembered when still in Indonesia, you said “Now I stay with my boyfriend’s house, and boyfriend’s parents feed me”.

I translated that as “I don’t want to stay with your parents”. So, okay I don’t want that to be “arguing” topic.

Once I heard you that you back to Russia, now I had a plan.. again and I got a little job, my plan was.. Okay, I’m ready to move to Russia,

Since that, I saved everything, eat only once a day(you will see that i’m so skinny now), use cheap transportation, I didn’t buy anything, and so on,

You know, one of requirements for Russian visa is NOT BOOKING ticket, I should pay full of ticket, and hostel, it was expensive, but it’s everything for you.

But exactly after I bought almost everything, you went to the U.S. 🙁 that means everything is failed… again..

I got two failed plan and wasting much money.

First, I use all of my savings and this one asked from parents for ticket to Vietnam, at that time I was sure that we will happy together, just two of us.

And second, this one..

I’m wasting everything that I have just for you. Just see, even if I should sell my liver for you, I’m ready for it, as long as i’m with you.

Good that you see that I’m connected everywhere, so you can see that I’m alive at least, if you care about it, of course

I care about you of course, just check my post when we didn’t talk each other.. I am worried about you, I feel bad because i can’t help you, and so on.

Fris’s messages made me laugh.. she IS SORRY ?
Of course she’s ready to stop talking to you now, because you’re not of use anymore, not in Russia to help her
If only she knew how I was suffering because of your “friendship”
Never mind. Anyway I think it’s not only her fault, she’s not to be blamed that you were so easily influenced to betray me

Okay, again I accepted if you were suffering because of my “friendship”, even if you think I betrayed you, yes… I won’t argue that, I accepted it, and everything was my fault

And I apologize for everything, from my heart.

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